margot (thenerve) wrote in depressedteens,


i'm lindsey. i'm 18 years old and was diagnosed with depression when i was 12. i've had my share of other problems(eating disorder, anxiety, mania). i absolutely hate seeing therapists, and am not keen on taking medication but i'm trying it anyway. i smoke pot every day(and it's the only thing that will make me feel better, so don't you dare give me shit about it) and i'm just tired of hating myself and feeling like everyone thinks i'm this crazy bitch.
i feel horrible for my boyfriend. he has to deal with me being manic, having panic attacks, being depressed, and wanting to die. well, not really wanting to die, i want more than anything just to be sane. but when something goes wrong i can't help but think "you should just kill yourself" over and over again.
it seems like no one understands depression.
my boyfriend asks "why can't you just be happy?"
and i don't know why.
but anyway, i don't know. i'm hoping to make some friends and get some support. feel free to add me if you want to.
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